7 Unexpected Questions to Ask Your Spouse Before Getting Married
How many tiers on the cake? Suits or tuxes? Who gets a 'plus one'? If you're getting ready to tie the knot, these are just some of the questions that will inevitably keep you up at night. In fact, if you're planning for that big day, it's easy to get lost in wedding preparations and lose sight of what you're really getting ready for: marriage.
It may be less glamorous than selecting your signature cocktail, but planning for marriage is much more important than the tiny details that go into wedding prep. So, in-between listening to cover band tapes and scrolling through wedding flowers on Pinterest, here are a few questions to ask your spouse before you live happily ever after:
- What's important to you?Don't underestimate the power of this simple question. It's a good indicator of your spouse's values. Whether it's spending Christmas morning with family, letting their dog sleep on their pillow or making the bedroom an unplugged zone, you should know what your partner can't do without.
- How much is too much?You and your partner should be on the same page in terms of financial caution and spending. Two things you might want to splurge on? A new mattress and a beach vacation! You spend more than 1/3 of your life sleeping, so invest in a mattress you can be excited about. Studies also show that booking a vacation gives couples a happier feeling than their wedding day!
- Where do you see us in 10 years?You have it all planned: three kids and a dog in a two-story house in suburbia. But …have you asked your partner where they stand on this? Fantasizing about your future will be a lot more fun when you're on the same page.
- How can we have a 'happy marriage'?A “happy marriage” means something different for every couple, so ask your partner what it means to them. It's the little things that often make a big difference: as it turns out, happiness could be as simple as a good night sleep. Couples who get more sleep are actually more satisfied with their marriages – at least on the following day.
- What's your pet peeve?Sure, you might think you know this – but you'd be surprised the answers you'll get! From whistling to gum-chewing, the little things build up quickly, so ask your partner to lay it all on the table. This will also give you the chance to bring up what makes you tick.
- What chores do you hate doing?Research shows that sharing chores is one of the keys to a good marriage. Before you set out to spend the rest of your lives together, try figuring out who will make the bed in the mornings. Have an open conversation and start with chores you would prefer not to do. If your partner hates dusting, consider offering to take that on if he cleans out the fridge.
- What helps you sleep better at night?Be upfront about your sleeping needs and encourage your partner to do the same. We all have unique needs when it comes to sleep and your mattress is a huge factor in your overall sleeping experience. Find out your partners sleeping preferences by making shopping for a new mattress part of the start of your life together. After all, the couple who sleeps well together stays together!
From how your partner spends money to how they handle stress, learning to ask the tough questions before you head to the altar will help you rest easy in the long run.