Are You Ready to be in a Committed Relationship with Your Mattress?
Whether or not you know it, you are currently in a steady relationship. There’s this fixture in your life that is comforting, supportive and makes your dreams possible. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, you spend a lot of time together. That’s right, I’m talking about your mattress. Although your mattress is an incredibly loyal partner, the strain of always being there for you can take a toll, causing your mattress to age much faster than you might expect. To better understand what stage of the relationship you and your mattress are in, let me break down the phases of a long-term, committed mattress relationship for you.
Year 1: The Honeymoon Phase. Congratulations on your new relationship! Your first year together is a big deal for you and your mattress. You will learn a lot about each other as you spend almost every night together, and your mattress will do its best to make you feel comfortable. In return, you will regularly change your sheets in these early stages, even taking the time to make your bed up with throw pillows from time to time! The more time you spend together, the better your relationship will be.
Years 2-3: Blissful Togetherness. You guys are really hitting your stride now! Your mattress has a springy optimism that is contagious and allows it to continually support you. You have been together over a year now, and you two have become quite used to one another. In fact, as the “new couple” label begins to wear off, you may at times become bored of each other’s company. Don’t let your relationship wear out! Try sprucing things up a bit with new bedding or by rotating your mattress for a change of scenery that will make your relationship feel “like new” again!
Years 3-4: Getting Comfortable. You and your mattress have really matured together. Through the good and bad times, your mattress has endured a few bumps and bruises and its immune system is growing weaker. It has developed an allergy problem, and no matter how often you change the sheets your mattress is breeding more and more dust mites each night. At first, it seems like this extra baggage might be too much to handle, and you consider kicking it to the curb. But after a long conversation you decide to do something about it. To prevent the unwanted guests from multiplying further, you decide to protect your mattress with a mattress protector, some allergy free sheets, and a dust-mite-proof pillow case!
Years 5-6: Starting to Let It All Go. You and your mattress are going strong, but you can’t help but notice the passage of time. Not nearly as strong and supportive as it once was, your mattress can leave you waking up with stiffness, numbness, aches and pains when you get out of bed. It has taken on some negative characteristics that begin to have an immediate impact on your relationship.
Years 7-8: Contemplating the Breakup. As you settle in to the final years of your relationship you appreciate that you and your mattress have lived a full and happy life together. But, as relationships sometimes go, it seems like you’re suddenly doing all the work. You wake up tired, even though you’ve had a full night’s sleep. You no longer feel supported. As you think about all that you’ve been through together, you begin to realize that your mattress just doesn’t look or feel like its old self. It’s showing visible signs of overuse, such as sagging, holes, staining or other types of damage.
Year 8 and Beyond: The Breakup. At this point, you begin to contemplate just how much longer your relationship will last. As you ponder the future, your mattress does something selfless, something to let you know how much it valued your time together: it gives you a sign – or more specifically, a tag. Your mattress tag shows you that you have been together for eight years now. This message is just what you needed. Reading between the lines, you can hear your mattress urging, “Go, my sleeping friend. Go find a mattress that you deserve. It’s for the best.” Emotional as you are, you are overcome with an uncanny sense of relief.
Moving On. So you begin to take the necessary steps to find your next eight year relationship with a new mattress. You recycle your old, faithful friend, and begin again, the process of finding a new mattress. Walking into your local Mattress Firm, you begin to realize how right your old mattress was. You do deserve better, and that is exactly what’s in store for your sleep for the next eight years.